Complete Frustration!

Okay, so I've been trying to be good about a lot of the decisions that we've had to make in the last month, but I'm really having a hard time with them. Nick finally made a decision to accept his seat in this MRI program in Philadelphia. It's a 6-month program where he'll be training to get his certification. It's a program through one of the university hospitals up there, but it's not technically considered a school, so he won't be qualified to get a traditional student loan in order to pay for the program. That leaves most of it on us, or getting a loan which we'll have to pay back as we go. Here are a few of my reservations:
1. He has to quit his job for those 6-months because it's a full-time program. And it's not like he can get a part-time job because the program is sometimes during the day , and other times it's the evening shift. In this time of uncertainty, I just keep thinking that he has a job now and he wants to voluntarily give it up not knowing if he'll get one when he's done?

2. He wants to commute. We live about 90 minutes from where the hospital is. Can we say gas guzzler? We still have the Jetta, so that's not too terrible, but still. Ka-ching!

3. I'm going to be all by myself for the duration with three kids under the age of 3. One of those being a brand new baby. I don't want to be by myself, but he thinks that I'll be able to handle it. That's not the point. I don't want to handle it all by myself. It's hard enough as it is with two kids, let alone three.

4. He has to have health insurance for the entire program. Once he quits his job, we'll have nothing. He looked into how much paying through the COBRA program at work would be. About $1900 a month. Who can afford that?! So now he's looking at health insurance on the internet. Nick is so trusting that he almost always falls for scams, so that has me worried.

5. We just got our settlement check from my accident last year. It's a significant amount of money that I want to use some place other than paying for living expenses for 6 months. But Nick wants to use it for just that. It's an amount that we'll never ever get back in the bank. We'll never have that much money again for a down payment on a house, or to by a bigger vehicle outright.

6. He wants to either move back in with my parents or move back in above his parents like we did when we were first married. I don't want to do either. I will if I must, but I really don't want to. Moving in with Nick's parents would mean a different ward. I'm not sure I want that yet. Moving in with my parents means that we have no personal space. I know that living with either/or will save us tons of money, but when we moved out of my parents' house in March, I didn't plan on moving back in.

The list goes on. These are just a few of the major issues that I am struggling with. If I had my choice, we wouldn't do it. I want the outcome because it's a $17,000-$20,000 increase a year. That will get us into a better house than what our options are now. It'll give us a little bit more of a cushion with a growing family. But I have so many reservations about doing this. Being that Nick is the patriarch of our household, I do support him in the decisions we have to make, but this is probably the hardest decision I've had to make. I guess maybe I'm being selfish, but I'm completely scared straight! I don't want this!

And the Winner is...

We had our ultrasound of the baby on Monday. After rescheduling the appointment for a week later than was originally planned, we were pleased with the results of the scan. The baby is developing just perfectly. No holes or things out of place. The spine looks fabulous and all four chambers of the heart are in working order. The tech got a picture of the profile of the baby. She held the wand there for us to get a good look at the baby. We got to see the fingers moving and the head, and everything else. It's a very active little thing!

She then asked us if we wanted to know the gender of the baby. Of course we said yes. It was killing Nick to not know. He was sure it was a girl. It was nothing else to him. As time progressed, I wasn't so sure. So when the tech told us that it's a boy, I wasn't too surprised. Excited, but not surprised. Nick asked the tech if she was sure, and she said that she was pretty positive of the gender. So baby boy #3 will join our family sometime in December. I'm grateful for everything going well up to this point. I continue to pray that he will continue to grow healthy and strong. We don't have any names picked out. Boy names are a little more difficult than girl names I think. So if you have any suggestions, we're open. Just don't be offended if we don't choose one of them.

New York Vacation

We've been planning on taking a five-day camping trip up to the Finger Lakes region of New York for months now. Last week, we actually did it. We - meaning the four of us, my mom and dad, and my cousins, the Walde's - left early Monday morning to spend the week touring our Church historical sites, along with a few of the natural beauties that the state of New York has to offer. We camped in a nowhere town called Bristol. Definitely off the beaten path. It's about 30 minutes south of Palmyra, NY. The boys had a great time. Tanner especially because he was outside for five entire days. He was in heaven!!!

Tuesday we started the day touring the Peter Whitmer farm in Fayette, NY. This is the site where The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints was restored. We toured the chapel built there and the visitor center. We then went over to the farm house and got to take a look around there. From there we went to Palmyra to the Joseph Smith farm and checked out the log home and the frame house that the Smith family lived in. There is a Cooper shop and an old barn there that you can take a look at while you're there. After that, we took a stroll through the Sacred Grove where Joseph Smith saw God, the Father, and Jesus Christ. That's one amazing place. We were able to see parts of the Palmyra Temple as we toured the farm. That's a pretty cool Temple. It's the only Temple that has a clear glass window in it. It overlooks the Sacred Grove. Pretty awesome!

That night we stayed for the Hill Cumorah Pageant. What a spectacular event! It doesn't start until after 9:15pm. But there are hundreds of actors from all over the country that come and portray the story of the Book of Mormon from the time of Lehi and his family, to the birth, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ, through to Mormon and Moroni, then on to where Joseph Smith was shown the Gold Plates and testifies of the divinity of Christ and of His Second Coming. Awesome doesn't even begin to explain how you feel during the pageant. After a long day though, the boys zonked out before the start of the pageant. It was quite cold that evening, so Spencer was covered in blankets while Tanner slept on Papa's lap under the heavy blankets.

Wednesday we went back to Palmyra to climb the Hill Cumorah. We found a mom and pop place that serves incredible portions of ice cream. Really good though. Everyone but Spencer and I took a walk up to the Erie Canal after lunch just in time to see a few boats go through the locks. That was pretty cool from what I heard. That night we hung out at the campsite and played cards.

Thursday we drove over to Letchworth State Park, about an hour west of where we were camped. It's referred to as the Grand Canyon of the East. It was pretty cool. There are three falls that you can hike down to and get up close and personal with. That was probably the highlight of that day. I'm not a huge hiker, and being 4 1/2 months pregnant, it was a big day for me. But it was impressive to see, nonetheless.

We packed up Friday morning and drove home. We were sad to leave. The weather was perfect. It was pretty cold Monday and Tuesday. We ended up having to bring Tanner into our bed with us once so that he wouldn't freeze. Spencer did fine with his blankets. But the week warmed up nicely. Nick really enjoyed that part of New York and now wants to move up there. He even looked at different hospitals to see if anyone was hiring. Who knows, maybe we'll become New Yorkers.

All-in-all, it was a fabulous trip. It was hard to come home to hot, humid temperatures, but it's also nice to be home.