Complete Frustration!

Okay, so I've been trying to be good about a lot of the decisions that we've had to make in the last month, but I'm really having a hard time with them. Nick finally made a decision to accept his seat in this MRI program in Philadelphia. It's a 6-month program where he'll be training to get his certification. It's a program through one of the university hospitals up there, but it's not technically considered a school, so he won't be qualified to get a traditional student loan in order to pay for the program. That leaves most of it on us, or getting a loan which we'll have to pay back as we go. Here are a few of my reservations:
1. He has to quit his job for those 6-months because it's a full-time program. And it's not like he can get a part-time job because the program is sometimes during the day , and other times it's the evening shift. In this time of uncertainty, I just keep thinking that he has a job now and he wants to voluntarily give it up not knowing if he'll get one when he's done?

2. He wants to commute. We live about 90 minutes from where the hospital is. Can we say gas guzzler? We still have the Jetta, so that's not too terrible, but still. Ka-ching!

3. I'm going to be all by myself for the duration with three kids under the age of 3. One of those being a brand new baby. I don't want to be by myself, but he thinks that I'll be able to handle it. That's not the point. I don't want to handle it all by myself. It's hard enough as it is with two kids, let alone three.

4. He has to have health insurance for the entire program. Once he quits his job, we'll have nothing. He looked into how much paying through the COBRA program at work would be. About $1900 a month. Who can afford that?! So now he's looking at health insurance on the internet. Nick is so trusting that he almost always falls for scams, so that has me worried.

5. We just got our settlement check from my accident last year. It's a significant amount of money that I want to use some place other than paying for living expenses for 6 months. But Nick wants to use it for just that. It's an amount that we'll never ever get back in the bank. We'll never have that much money again for a down payment on a house, or to by a bigger vehicle outright.

6. He wants to either move back in with my parents or move back in above his parents like we did when we were first married. I don't want to do either. I will if I must, but I really don't want to. Moving in with Nick's parents would mean a different ward. I'm not sure I want that yet. Moving in with my parents means that we have no personal space. I know that living with either/or will save us tons of money, but when we moved out of my parents' house in March, I didn't plan on moving back in.

The list goes on. These are just a few of the major issues that I am struggling with. If I had my choice, we wouldn't do it. I want the outcome because it's a $17,000-$20,000 increase a year. That will get us into a better house than what our options are now. It'll give us a little bit more of a cushion with a growing family. But I have so many reservations about doing this. Being that Nick is the patriarch of our household, I do support him in the decisions we have to make, but this is probably the hardest decision I've had to make. I guess maybe I'm being selfish, but I'm completely scared straight! I don't want this!

And the Winner is...

We had our ultrasound of the baby on Monday. After rescheduling the appointment for a week later than was originally planned, we were pleased with the results of the scan. The baby is developing just perfectly. No holes or things out of place. The spine looks fabulous and all four chambers of the heart are in working order. The tech got a picture of the profile of the baby. She held the wand there for us to get a good look at the baby. We got to see the fingers moving and the head, and everything else. It's a very active little thing!

She then asked us if we wanted to know the gender of the baby. Of course we said yes. It was killing Nick to not know. He was sure it was a girl. It was nothing else to him. As time progressed, I wasn't so sure. So when the tech told us that it's a boy, I wasn't too surprised. Excited, but not surprised. Nick asked the tech if she was sure, and she said that she was pretty positive of the gender. So baby boy #3 will join our family sometime in December. I'm grateful for everything going well up to this point. I continue to pray that he will continue to grow healthy and strong. We don't have any names picked out. Boy names are a little more difficult than girl names I think. So if you have any suggestions, we're open. Just don't be offended if we don't choose one of them.

New York Vacation

We've been planning on taking a five-day camping trip up to the Finger Lakes region of New York for months now. Last week, we actually did it. We - meaning the four of us, my mom and dad, and my cousins, the Walde's - left early Monday morning to spend the week touring our Church historical sites, along with a few of the natural beauties that the state of New York has to offer. We camped in a nowhere town called Bristol. Definitely off the beaten path. It's about 30 minutes south of Palmyra, NY. The boys had a great time. Tanner especially because he was outside for five entire days. He was in heaven!!!

Tuesday we started the day touring the Peter Whitmer farm in Fayette, NY. This is the site where The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints was restored. We toured the chapel built there and the visitor center. We then went over to the farm house and got to take a look around there. From there we went to Palmyra to the Joseph Smith farm and checked out the log home and the frame house that the Smith family lived in. There is a Cooper shop and an old barn there that you can take a look at while you're there. After that, we took a stroll through the Sacred Grove where Joseph Smith saw God, the Father, and Jesus Christ. That's one amazing place. We were able to see parts of the Palmyra Temple as we toured the farm. That's a pretty cool Temple. It's the only Temple that has a clear glass window in it. It overlooks the Sacred Grove. Pretty awesome!

That night we stayed for the Hill Cumorah Pageant. What a spectacular event! It doesn't start until after 9:15pm. But there are hundreds of actors from all over the country that come and portray the story of the Book of Mormon from the time of Lehi and his family, to the birth, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ, through to Mormon and Moroni, then on to where Joseph Smith was shown the Gold Plates and testifies of the divinity of Christ and of His Second Coming. Awesome doesn't even begin to explain how you feel during the pageant. After a long day though, the boys zonked out before the start of the pageant. It was quite cold that evening, so Spencer was covered in blankets while Tanner slept on Papa's lap under the heavy blankets.

Wednesday we went back to Palmyra to climb the Hill Cumorah. We found a mom and pop place that serves incredible portions of ice cream. Really good though. Everyone but Spencer and I took a walk up to the Erie Canal after lunch just in time to see a few boats go through the locks. That was pretty cool from what I heard. That night we hung out at the campsite and played cards.

Thursday we drove over to Letchworth State Park, about an hour west of where we were camped. It's referred to as the Grand Canyon of the East. It was pretty cool. There are three falls that you can hike down to and get up close and personal with. That was probably the highlight of that day. I'm not a huge hiker, and being 4 1/2 months pregnant, it was a big day for me. But it was impressive to see, nonetheless.

We packed up Friday morning and drove home. We were sad to leave. The weather was perfect. It was pretty cold Monday and Tuesday. We ended up having to bring Tanner into our bed with us once so that he wouldn't freeze. Spencer did fine with his blankets. But the week warmed up nicely. Nick really enjoyed that part of New York and now wants to move up there. He even looked at different hospitals to see if anyone was hiring. Who knows, maybe we'll become New Yorkers.

All-in-all, it was a fabulous trip. It was hard to come home to hot, humid temperatures, but it's also nice to be home.

Birthdays!

We celebrated both Tanner's and Spencer's birthdays this past week. Spencer turned 1 one June 5, and Tanner turned 2 on June 13. Last Saturday, our families gathered at a park for burgers and hot dogs, playground fun, cake, and most definitely presents.

The boys had tons of fun. They aren't at an age yet that they know what's going on. Tanner played on the playground equipment the entire time we were there. We couldn't even get him to take a break to eat. Finally, we had to sit him down and force him to eat something after noticing that his little hands were shaking from low blood sugar. Spencer loved just walking around and trying to touch the hot grill. Thankfully, no burns.

The boys made out like bandits. They got all kinds of new toys to play with. We've even had to get rid of a few toys just to make room for these new ones. The weather was perfect during the picnic. Afterwards, the storms came. Thank goodness we decided to do it in the early afternoon instead of the evening.

Nick had an interview with the University of Pennsylvania Hospital yesterday to determine if he would be accepted into their MRI program. He called on his way home and told me that he had been accepted. I have to admit that I'm kind of upset about it. I'm glad that he's trying to better his career and find a way to better provide for his family. At the same time, he's going to have to quit his full-time job and he's not sure if he's going to be able to get a weekend job some place. He'll have to commute to Philadelphia every day. It's only for 6 months, but I'm going to be a single parent for that period of time, and with a brand new baby, I'm not especially happy about that. Financially this is going to be extremely difficult for us. We will possible, more than likely, have to get a loan just to live on. I hesitate big time with that, but I know that it won't be too bad. It'll be like having a car payment to repay. I still struggle with it. I like things the way they are. We have health insurance, money to buy groceries, pay for rent and other things. He's home every evening. But I know how much better off we'll be once he's done with the program. I just have to come to terms with it I guess.

Quick Weekend

My mom and I took off to Ohio on Thursday after we received a call that one of my uncles passed away. It was a sudden thing, but we were grateful for the opportunity to go. I made arrangements with Nick's mom to watch the boys while Nick worked so that I could go. We left Thursday afternoon driving through the rain. We made it to my aunt's house around 11:00pm. Long day. Friday was the funeral. It was simple, but very nice. He was buried in the cemetery where my grandma and grandpa Smith are buried, so it was nice to visit their graves.

Afterwards, we spent the remainder of the day at family's house eating and talking and having a good time being together.

Saturday mom and I did some shopping. I needed some maternity clothes for the summer. All my summer stuff is too large for right now, so I was able to get a few things. We also stopped a few Ohio State Buckeye stores so that I could get the boys some stuff. I was able to find really cute outfits for the boys, a baseball cap for Tanner, and some shorts and a t-shirt for Nick. Go Buckeyes! We ate lunch with my Aunt Sue and had a nice visit with her. After that, we stopped in to see our longtime friends in Columbus and then it was back to my aunt's house in Marysville. We packed up our stuff in the car (we decided to stay at our friends house in Columbus to be closer to the highway) and headed over to my cousin's new house for dinner. That was a nice relaxing time. We ate some more and just chatted. I love it there because it doesn't get dark until close to 10pm.

Then we left yesterday morning to come back home. 8 hours and we made it, safe and sound. It was good to see my husband and kids again. I miss them every time I'm away. It was a nice little break, but I'm glad to be back with them.

All About Me

So, since mother's day was just a few days ago, as well as my birthday, I'll fill you in on what happened for those days.

Mother's day was busy. Nick was kind enough to allow me to lay in bed for as long as I was able before having to get ready for church. He got the boys dressed and ready for church. I've been collecting those Willow Tree figurines for the past few years and Nick got me one that had two brothers together. Love it! Having both your own mother and your mother-in-law live in the same area, it's a day filled with stopping by and saying hello. We spent the afternoon at my moms and stopped by Nick's say hello then home to get the boys home to bed.

Nick surprised me for my birthday by taking the day off from work and taking me to the temple. We hadn't been to the temple since before Tanner was born, so it was a nice treat. We left the boys at my parents and we drove over to Washington, D.C. We spent all afternoon in the temple. It was glorious! I'd forgotten how beautiful it is to be there in the house of the Lord! Afterwards, we stopped in Annapolis at a BBQ restaurant for dinner. We both went away from there hurting. The food was so yummy! We made it back to my parents about 8pm that night and we thanked everyone and brought the boys home. Nick surprised me again with symphony tickets for the following weekend. I'm so excited! I haven't been to the symphony in ages and the special musician for the weekend is a French horn player. Which, because of my background playing the French horn in school, I'm thrilled to hear this guy play! It was such a perfect day. I love my husband for being so thoughtful and listening to me when I told him that I'd love to go to the symphony one day.

The boys are as busy as ever. Tanner pretty much would live outside if we'd let him. He always has his shoes one on the off chance that mommy or daddy goes outside so that he can go too! He loves his shoes so much that he insists on wearing them to bed. He even wears them when he's got no clothes on ready for bath time. Unfortunately, the shoes don't get in the tub with Tanner, which is major drama for him! He's a funny kid! Tanner is really started to talk a lot. He doesn't have a big vocabulary, but it's growing. He just started to really talk within the last few weeks, so it's fun to hear him say things.

Spencer is getting to be a really fast walker! He walks pretty much everywhere now. He too has taken a liking to being outside. He gets really upset if he doesn't get to go along when you go outside. He's doing great at eating table food. No more baby food!! That's huge! It's taken Spencer a long time to get used to non-pureed food. He's my picky eater. My mom says it's pay back because I was one of her picky eaters. Hey, what goes around comes around, right? Spencer is funny to listen to when the music is going. He loves to sing with it! Especially at church. We we sing the hymns, he sings as loud as possible, and as soon as the music stops, so does he. It's pretty funny! Love him.

My pregnancy is going fairly well. I've been getting migraines a lot lately. I've had 4 in the last two weeks. The doctor gave me a medicine to help combat them, and yesterday was the first time I took it. It helped tremendously! I just hope these migraines stop soon. They're really starting to interfere with life. My nausea has seemed to lessen a little bit. I still have to eat pretty regularly in order to fight off the feeling. But it doesn't seem to be too bad anymore. I'm about 10 weeks, or two and a half months along. I wasn't able to hear the baby's heartbeat at my last appointment (too early), but next month I will.

That's us. We're still looking into to Nick going to this 6-month school next spring to get MRI certified. There's a lot of planning that goes into this, but we're hoping everything will work out for the best. I stay busy with the boys. I love being a mom. Especially when Tanner hands out hugs and kisses. I love my boys!

Things I Have/Not Done

Just copy and paste this to your blog and bold the ones that you HAVE done and make sure to put your score at the end.

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Learned a new instrument
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Gone without food or water for 24 hours or longer
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Stayed up for 24 hours with NO sleep at all
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Changed a lightbulb
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Mowed the lawn
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee

Got 45! That's almost half!