So, I left church yesterday fuming!! Every second and third Sunday we have choir rehearsal after our meetings. Well, I stay to play the piano for it. I had just sent my husband and kids home so that the boys could take naps. I walk into where we rehearse and everyone seems to be leaving. Come to find out choir was cancelled that day due to lack of participation. That I wasn't sure about because there were plenty of people who stayed after specifically for choir. I was a little miffed about that, but that's not exactly what sent me into my upset mood.
As I was getting my things ready to leave with my mom and grandma, our choir director asks to speak with me for just a few minutes, so I'm thinking that he wanted to discuss choir music with me. How wrong I was! To preface this, I also play the organ for our congregation. I'm by no means an organist. I'm a pianist who does the best job possible at playing the organ as deemed possible.
So this guy proceeds to ask me if I was getting the list of hymns soon enough so that I could practice. I told him that I was. He then asks me if I had enough time during the week to practice those hymns. I told him that I didn't practice at all during the week. I didn't tell him this, but I knew the hymns almost by heart that I felt the need not to practice. By then I knew what he was getting at. He was insinuating that my playing was inferior to his standards. I proceeded to tell him that the mistakes that I make on the organ were mainly due to the fact that I stumble over my own fingers. And by that point, I was so upset by what he was saying that I didn't know what to say. I get really nervous still playing in front of that many people, but he didn't need to know that. He then goes on to tell me that he wanted me to practice more during the week, and that if I wasn't able to get a chance to practice that I should play the hymns during the time that I play prelude music before the meeting started. I was so aghast by what he was saying. Are you kidding me?
My feelings were so hurt. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Who was he to tell me that my hymn playing was sub-standard?! He doesn't play the organ, and you know what, I'm doing the best that I can for what little knowledge I have. I just couldn't believe it. I left absolutely fuming. It was like having a music professional tell you that what you're good at wasn't very good. So now, every Sunday, I'm going to be completely self-conscious about my playing. Thanks a lot buddy! So irritating! I guess since he is our ward music chairman, that he feels it's his responsibility to make everything "perfect". You know what, I'm good at playing hymns. Who do you think you are to tell me that I'm not doing a very good job? Here's what I have to say to that, "Bite me!"
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4 comments:
Oh Lani, you do a wonderful job every Sunday!! Don't let this bother you. Everyone idolizes you up there.. haven't you noticed that NO ONE else is even capable of attempting those hymns [even on the piano]? You're great and I really appreciate you playing every single week. Love you, girl.
Hey there, u should tell him to walk a day in your shoes and if he still has a problem then he can play the organ on sundays! and "bite me too" how frustrating, some people. I bet it helps just to vent huh?
Wow... from what I know of you (and back in HS, even) you are a wonderful musician. I think I would've told him that if he thought he'd do a better job, then HE could play the following Sunday!
Lani keep your chin up. Try not to let it bother you. If you know you are doing your best then that's what matters. I know you are playing well. You are very talented! I'd give anything to have any talent like that! Keep your head up high and try not to get bothered by his comments.
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