I Wish Money Grew on Trees

I've not had the best 10 days in regards to money. I just learned a little while ago that the personal injury protection coverage - or PIP - from my auto insurance has been exhausted thanks to my automobile accident back in April. What I really dislike is that in the state of Delaware, my insurance has to pay out first, then the responsible party's insurance takes over from there. What I didn't know in the beginning was that I would have to pay out of pocket expenses once my PIP was exhausted and then get reimbursed sometime later. So aggravating!! I just received a final notice bill in the mail last week for a significant amount of money that stated if I didn't pay within the next 10 days, it would be sent to collections. This is a bill that should have already been taken care of 8 months ago. Not happy about that! Then I learn that I'll have to pay co-pays from my physical therapy visits - 12 of them - because my auto insurance doesn't have money left to pay them. To top it off, I got a phone call from the other guy's auto insurance company wanting me to settle the claim so that they wouldn't be obligated to pay anymore medical bills. I DON'T THINK SO!!! I really dislike how money is the motivating factor in most instances! I'm just completely fed with all of this right now. I know that I'll incur many other bills that I'll have to at least pay co-pays on because my knee still isn't fixed.

That's another thing I'm completely irritated about. It's been 8 months since my accident, but yet I still have a massive bruise on my knee, and I still can't kneel on it. The knee doctor says that it's still bruised. Obviously! I don't need a medical degree to figure that one out. But it's been 8 months - count 'em! 8 MONTHS! I just don't know what to do. The doctor gave me two cortisone shots the last time I was there, but that didn't make any difference. If anything, it made the pain worse in areas that didn't hurt before. I don't get it! I'm starting to doubt the system big time.

Speaking of doubting...I know, this is a downer blog, but I'm just so frustrated! I have never been around anyone before that has made me doubt my musical abilities until now. I play the organ at church, and for being someone that isn't trained on the organ, I thought I was doing a fairly decent job at it. Well, the last few months has totally changed that perspective. This person at church, who I shall not name names, but this person that makes me feel this way, has told me in the past that I needed to practice more, and in not so many words, told me that I sounded not very good on the organ. That really hurt my feelings. More than I thought it would. Well, since then, this person has told me repeatedly that, or rather, reminded me, that I'm still not doing a very good job. I also play the piano for our choir, and it's the same thing there. This person rarely gives me any notice of what we're going to be singing. He/She is always talking completely over every person's head when it comes to musical terms. Even mine, and I've been musically inclined for over 18 years now. So, this every Sunday now, I get completely nervous when I play the organ, or the piano, and this past week, I screwed up so bad that I wanted to go and hide. This person just makes me feel like I'm not very good. I've never once doubted that I was good at the piano. It's always come easy for me and I take great pleasure in playing. So now, thanks to this person, I'm completely unsure about my abilities. Thanks a lot there person! Makes me so mad!!!!!!

On a different, note, but just as heavy, Spencer is having minor surgery tomorrow to fix a little deformity that he's had since he was born. It's nothing serious, just a few snips here and there, finish the circumcision that wasn't finished as a newborn, and voila! I'm still a little uneasy about it because he has to go under sedation. I am extremely confident of the surgeon's abilities, but with one so little, it just is worrisome. Nick's taking the day off from work to go with me. Tanner will spend the day with Grandma Surdukowski, and hopefully we'll be home by lunchtime. Needless to say, Nick and my dad will give Spencer a blessing this evening just for added help.

So as you can tell, it hasn't been a very fun 10 days for me. Once we get through tomorrow's surgery, I'm sure I'll relax a little bit more, but for now, I'm wound pretty tight!