Sickness

You know, I never thought that I would be so thrilled that one of my sons would have a "normal" poopy diaper. After the week we've had here in the Surdukowski home, poopy diapers are finally under control. At least I think.

So, Monday night I heard Spencer fussing. He soaked through his diaper. That's when I discovered that Tanner had gotten sick in his bed. So we got both boys cleaned up and back to bed. Tanner got sick once more that night, but since he's had some really nasty diapers. Up until today, he's been pretty sick. Fortunately he's been acting fairly well, so I wasn't too worried. Yesterday, however, I noticed that he wasn't having wet diapers. That worried me a little bit so we started to really push the water and pedialyte. Thankfully today he had some good wet diapers. His poor bum is just raw from all the sick poop, so we're now treating that. But he finally had a semi-normal diaper this evening, and to be honest, I couldn't have been more thrilled. He's finally getting better and I'm grateful for that.

Spencer got sick Wednesday night. He, unfortunately, got sick a few more times than Tanner. But thankfully, both he and Tanner only were physically sick just for one night. However, he too got the sick poopy diapers as well yesterday, and a little today, but I think he's on the mend now too.

Nick and I both started feeling bad yesterday afternoon. Thankfully I only felt sick yesterday and a little today. But I never did get physically sick. Nick stayed home from work today because he's had an upset stomach pretty bad since yesterday. My poor guys! I'm grateful that I got the better end of the deal than what Nick, Tanner, and Spencer had. But, like I said, we're on the mend I'm pretty sure.

I'll tell ya, this has not been a nice week for me. If you know much about me, I seriously think I have a phobia about throwing up - me or anyone else around me. My dad calls me a sympathy puker. If I see someone do it, I'm right there with them. So I've had to face my demons this week. It's been hard, but we've made it through. I just hope that we haven't passed it on to anyone else. I keep telling myself that tomorrow will be better, and the day after that will be even better, and so forth. I'm exhausted.

Completely Frustrated!

The past week has not gone exactly as I thought they would. After finding out that Nick didn't get into the school he wanted, we've been house hunting. Unfortunately, here where we live, we can't afford anything more than a trailer. That was a huge let down for me. We decided that it wasn't in our best interest to buy a home right now because Nick doesn't want to stay where he is forever. So we looked into what we could afford to rent. We can't afford much more than a 1 bedroom apartment. And seeing that we have two boys, a one room apartment won't cut it. It's been exhausting and disappointing as we've searched. I've cried a few times, and poor Nick, he's doing all the he can with the money that he makes. It just is so hard to live on one income these days. So I don't know. I guess we just need to move some place where we can afford to live.

I had another blow come today. It's been nine months since my car accident and my knee is still not any better. I went to the knee doctor today for another check up. I was afraid that he was going to tell me that it's still bruised and that we just need to wait and see. I was not going to be happy with that answer. It's been 9 whole months since the car accident - you cannot sit there and tell me that my knee is still bruised. Thankfully he didn't tell me that. Unfortunately, he thinks there is some cartilage damage and he wants to go in and check it out. So they scheduled me for outpatient knee surgery to do a scope of my knee. If there is damage, he will repair it and I'll be on crutches for 3 weeks. If there is no damage, then I'll be on crutches for a day, but that means that I have permanent damage to my knee. That's stinky! So we'll see what happens here after February 6. I'm a little scared to have this done, but I know that it will be for the best in the end, I guess...

Moving On

With great anticipation, Nick applied for the Medical Dosimetry program at Thomas Jefferson University in Philadelphia, PA back in October. We were told that he would find out after December 15, 2008 if he'd been accepted. So we waited. Then we got a letter from the school saying that they wouldn't send out acceptance letters until after January 15, 2009. So we waited some more. Finally, the week of the 15th came. I checked the mail religiously every day just to see if the letter would come. It came exactly on January 15th. I immediately called Nick at work so that I could open it with him. Of course he didn't answer. He called back and I opened that little piece of paper. With "regret" Nick was not selected for the program. He was pretty disappointed. But, he said that he's ready to move on with things.

Moving on with things means that we will be searching for a place of our own. My parents, ever so graciously, have been letting us live with them for the past two years while Nick finished school. Now that he's not going to go to anymore school outside of the state, we've decided it's time to move out on our own and start making our way in life. We're both nervous and scared, but we look forward with hope and faith. We've decided to rent a place for now because we're not entirely sure where our path will lead us. That and the houses we can afford to buy here are not exactly liveable.

My mom and dad will be completely disappointed when we leave because it's become part of life for them to have all four of us here at their house. My dad will miss having his grandkids in the house all the time. But, we're not going far. Just a car ride away - a short one mind you.

So we look forward to the events that will be taking place with us these coming months. I also told Nick that I'm ready to have another baby. I absolutely love being pregnant, and I'm ready to have another one! Spencer is crawling and climbing steps now, and has been for about a month. So he's pretty independent now. I'm ready to have another little one to hold and love on. I love my kids!

This is going to be a fantastic year!

Heritage Makers

So I got into digital scrapbooking a little over a year ago. It's pretty fun. I'm not all that creative, and having to cut out, trim, paste, and a whole mess of other time consuming things with regular paper scrapbooking just wasn't all that appealing to me. But doing it online is way better and in some cases, a whole lot cheaper. I use a company called Heritage Makers. It's really pretty cool how much stuff they have. I've published three books so far, and I'm about to publish a fourth book, as well as a canvas poster with a few of our latest family photos. The link is for the scrapbook I've been working on for Tanner. It's a baby book. Check it out and let me know what you think.

http://www.heritagemakers.com/?event=projectBrowse&projectId=091ec8b3-3048-6168-a434-681682121774&productId=11&projectSponsor=250748

What Happened to December?

Before I knew it January has come, and I look back and ask myself, "What happened to December?"


Spencer's recovery from his minor surgery was phenomenal! Not once did he fuss or even act like he had work done. I never even had to give him any pain medicine because he didn't cry or anything. He amazes me. Tanner uses him as a step, or a punching bag when we're not looking, and Spencer just laughs or moves out of the way. Such a smiley, happy-go-lucky little boy. Love him!

My grandma Smith took a fall the first part of December and decided that she was ready to have her last Christmas wish fulfilled - to be reunited with my grandpa after 4 years of being alone. The Friday before Christmas, she died at her home in Ohio. My mom, dad, sister and I left early in the morning the day after Christmas to go to the funeral. It was a lovely service. I'm grateful for the knowledge I have that we will be able to live again one day with my grandma and grandpa when we leave this world. I'm grateful for the opportunity they'll have to learn about the gospel and when we see them again, we'll be together forever. I know my family is forever, and it really puts the love I have for all my family, immediate and extended, at the forefront of everything I do.

Christmas was so much fun this year. Tanner was old enough to realize that ripping off wrapping paper was tons of fun, and getting, literally, tons of toys was the best ever! Spencer had a great time eating wrapping paper. Being close to both sets of grandparents, Christmas is very busy for us. We spent the early morning with Nick's family opening presents. Then, after a nap for Spencer, we opened presents with my family. We had a mid-afternoon dinner with my family, then took off back to Nick's. All his family was home for Christmas and we decided it was a good time to take a family photo. We stayed and played at Nick's parents for a while, then came back home to my parents to unwind after our busy day. I've never seen Tanner so wound up and excited before. He had so much fun! It's great being a parent and watch the excitement from your kids.

During my 3-day trip to Ohio for grandma's funeral, Nick had the boys with him all weekend. A lot of Nick's aunts and uncles came down for the annual Surdukowski after-Christmas get together. They had fun at the park and opening more Christmas presents. I was disappointed I couldn't be there, but I'm glad that they stayed home with daddy and had a good time. Nick said Tanner loved the swings and couldn't get enough of the slide. He's such a boy, loves to always be moving!

Spencer decided he had enough of scooting around on the floor and got himself up to start crawling. He's getting so big and developing a lot faster than Tanner did. It's been fun to watch him. He's good at crawling now, and chases after Tanner sometimes. He always has to be in the middle of what's going on. He's even starting to pull himself up to the bottom step in the family room (there are two coming from the kitchen into the family room). He crawled ontop of a box yesterday and fell off. Both my boys, they're quite the climbers and nothing scares them.

We had a good New Year's Eve party here at my parent's. My aunt and uncle and one of my cousins were here. Kevin and Patty came down. We had a good night of lots of fabulous food and playing the Nintendo Wii that Nick got for Christmas.

Now that the new year has come, I've made a few goals for both me and my family. I plan to attend the Temple at least once this year, but plan to go more often. I plan to do more outside with the boys. I plan to do more things with my husband that involves more than just sitting around the house after he gets home from work. And a whole host of other things. This is going to be a fabulous year.

Successful Surgery

We took Spencer up to the children's hospital in Wilmington today for a bit of surgery. When he was born, his pediatrician noticed that he might have a bit of a deformity on his little boy part. So instead of completing the circumcision, she had to stop just in case he needed to have a more extensive surgery that required that skin for repair. I took Spencer up to see the pediatric urologist in September and he said that it was an easy thing to fix. We set the date for surgery, and then waited for it to come. Last week I took up back up to Wilmington for a pre-surgery appointment. Yesterday they called and told us what time to be where. So this morning, not so bright and but very early, Nick and I dropped Tanner off at Grandma Surdukowski's and continued on to the hospital. We were out the door by 5:45am. Still dark, mind you.

Spencer wasn't able to eat anything after 3:30 this morning, so I had to wake up at 3:10 to feed him one last time. I was worried that he was going to be highly fussy since he wouldn't be allowed to eat anything for such a long period of time. His surgery wasn't until around 9am, so that was a long time for him to wait.

The whole preparation for surgery for the mom is not so fun. We waited in the pre-op waiting area for about an hour, and then everything happened really fast. The doctor came out and explained to us what exactly he was going to do. Then the anesthesiologists came and told us what they were going to be doing. Then the nurses came and asked us all kinds of questions. And then they fought amongst themselves who would take him back to the operating room. They loved him. Thought he was the cutest thing ever! That was hard, having my little baby taken off by strangers to be worked on.

The surgery lasted a little more than an hour. The doctor explained that he had to do a little bit more work than he expected, but that everything went very well. Spencer should have no ill effects from the surgery at all. Everyone commented on how perfect a patient he was. It was nice to be among doctors and nurses that were so helpful and kind. I love that!

We were finally able to go back and be with Spencer after they brought him into the recovery room. That was hard for me to see him for the first time. He was all wrapped up in blankets. He had an IV put in, as well as heart monitors and pulse-ox sensors. But he was a trooper. He woke up from the anesthesia ready to go. He ate quite a bit and was smiling and kicking his feet like normal. So relieved to see that!

All in all, it was a pretty good day. Stressful for me because of the unknown. But Spencer did fantastic. Even after we got home this afternoon, he's done well. I'm sure tomorrow will be a little rough being the day after surgery, but we've got some good medication to help with the pain. I'm thankful for skilled doctors and nurses who love their jobs and love to help kids get better. Overall, it was a good experience, but I'm definitely glad it's over and I'm looking forward to having Spencer be whole once again.

I love him so much, and I'm so grateful to have him in our family. He's such a joy to have around. I learn from him every day, and I hope that he's learning as much as he can from someone who's still learning herself at how to be a good mom. He definitely is my little angel!!!

I Wish Money Grew on Trees

I've not had the best 10 days in regards to money. I just learned a little while ago that the personal injury protection coverage - or PIP - from my auto insurance has been exhausted thanks to my automobile accident back in April. What I really dislike is that in the state of Delaware, my insurance has to pay out first, then the responsible party's insurance takes over from there. What I didn't know in the beginning was that I would have to pay out of pocket expenses once my PIP was exhausted and then get reimbursed sometime later. So aggravating!! I just received a final notice bill in the mail last week for a significant amount of money that stated if I didn't pay within the next 10 days, it would be sent to collections. This is a bill that should have already been taken care of 8 months ago. Not happy about that! Then I learn that I'll have to pay co-pays from my physical therapy visits - 12 of them - because my auto insurance doesn't have money left to pay them. To top it off, I got a phone call from the other guy's auto insurance company wanting me to settle the claim so that they wouldn't be obligated to pay anymore medical bills. I DON'T THINK SO!!! I really dislike how money is the motivating factor in most instances! I'm just completely fed with all of this right now. I know that I'll incur many other bills that I'll have to at least pay co-pays on because my knee still isn't fixed.

That's another thing I'm completely irritated about. It's been 8 months since my accident, but yet I still have a massive bruise on my knee, and I still can't kneel on it. The knee doctor says that it's still bruised. Obviously! I don't need a medical degree to figure that one out. But it's been 8 months - count 'em! 8 MONTHS! I just don't know what to do. The doctor gave me two cortisone shots the last time I was there, but that didn't make any difference. If anything, it made the pain worse in areas that didn't hurt before. I don't get it! I'm starting to doubt the system big time.

Speaking of doubting...I know, this is a downer blog, but I'm just so frustrated! I have never been around anyone before that has made me doubt my musical abilities until now. I play the organ at church, and for being someone that isn't trained on the organ, I thought I was doing a fairly decent job at it. Well, the last few months has totally changed that perspective. This person at church, who I shall not name names, but this person that makes me feel this way, has told me in the past that I needed to practice more, and in not so many words, told me that I sounded not very good on the organ. That really hurt my feelings. More than I thought it would. Well, since then, this person has told me repeatedly that, or rather, reminded me, that I'm still not doing a very good job. I also play the piano for our choir, and it's the same thing there. This person rarely gives me any notice of what we're going to be singing. He/She is always talking completely over every person's head when it comes to musical terms. Even mine, and I've been musically inclined for over 18 years now. So, this every Sunday now, I get completely nervous when I play the organ, or the piano, and this past week, I screwed up so bad that I wanted to go and hide. This person just makes me feel like I'm not very good. I've never once doubted that I was good at the piano. It's always come easy for me and I take great pleasure in playing. So now, thanks to this person, I'm completely unsure about my abilities. Thanks a lot there person! Makes me so mad!!!!!!

On a different, note, but just as heavy, Spencer is having minor surgery tomorrow to fix a little deformity that he's had since he was born. It's nothing serious, just a few snips here and there, finish the circumcision that wasn't finished as a newborn, and voila! I'm still a little uneasy about it because he has to go under sedation. I am extremely confident of the surgeon's abilities, but with one so little, it just is worrisome. Nick's taking the day off from work to go with me. Tanner will spend the day with Grandma Surdukowski, and hopefully we'll be home by lunchtime. Needless to say, Nick and my dad will give Spencer a blessing this evening just for added help.

So as you can tell, it hasn't been a very fun 10 days for me. Once we get through tomorrow's surgery, I'm sure I'll relax a little bit more, but for now, I'm wound pretty tight!