Family Pictures

It's been a long time since Nick and I have had family pictures taken.  In fact, it's been three years.  I feel there is something special about having your pictures taken outside.  They seem so much more personal to me.  So for years I've been bugging Nick to allow us to get pictures taken outside.  I knew this would cost a lot of money because we would have to hire a photographer instead of using a department store studio.  Then my sister-in-law turned me on to a lady in her ward at church that was a budding photographer and that she takes really great photos. 

The day of the photo shoot dawned extremely windy.  I was so disappointed because I was certain it would have to be postponed.  Despite the wind the photo shoot took place.  My sister came down and did a little something with my hair and did my make-up, since I am completely handicapped when it comes to both of those things.

The boys did what little boys do when you get them outside.  They ran around, fell a few times in the dirt, and Spencer managed to get grass stains on his jeans before we even took a single picture.  The boys were a challenge, but in the end we got some great pictures.  I'm so pleased with the way they turned out.    

In A Funk!

I really struggled personally during the month of October.  During our semi-annual church General Conference, I was affected by a talk given by Elder Neil L. Andersen.  He talked about not putting off having kids because of financial reasons, or even for selfish reasons.  That really sent me for a loop, and honestly, I'm not sure why.  While I was pregnant with Wyatt, many of the people I know from church or around me would ask me if we were going to have more kids.  A lot of people would ask me if we were going to try for a girl.  My answer to them was always, "We're not entirely sure.  I'm not going to say 'no' because I'm not sure what the Lord has in store for me, but I would like to say 'yes' because I'm ready to be done having kids."  Then after having Wyatt, Nick and I decided that maybe it was time that we were done having kids.  Each one of my pregnancies was successively harder than the last both physically and emotionally.  I don't handle post-partum very well. 

So to hear an Apostle of the Lord stand there and tell us all that we shouldn't put off having kids because of selfish reasons, I felt like I was being selfish for using my physical struggles as an excuse to not have more kids.  I was a little upset, not angry, but just unsettled because I wasn't sure that I wanted to have more kids.  After two days of being in this mood, and after talking with Nick about it, he asked me why I felt the way I did.  I told him that I almost felt guilty to say we're not going to have more kids.  Then he looked me square in the eye and said that if I wanted to have more kids than that was fine, but that's our decision.  But if we we're going to have more kids because I felt guilt-tripped into having more kids, than that was wrong.  That immediately brought me out of my stupor.  We both feel strongly that, for now at least, we have faithfully done our part to bring children into this world and that now we need to focus of raising those children in this world. 

I've also really been struggling with raising our kids.  I feel like all I ever do is yell at them to stop doing this or to stop hitting each other.  I've felt really down on myself, recently especially, that I haven't been doing a very good job as a mother.  My kids are very intense in their behavior when they get together with other kids.  I feel like no one wants to bring their kids around mine because of the way they act.  All they do is watch television, literally, all day.  I've been very lazy in not wanting to do anything with them.  So I just let them watch television.  It's so bad that when we turn the tv off at night, Tanner throws a huge fit because he wants to watch more tv.  It's so bad! 

 Last week was really difficult for me in my mothering skills because I felt like I was just horrible.  I don't know how to handle the boys when they get in their non-listening moods, which is most of the time.  They don't come when I ask them directly to come to me.  They look at me and defiantly walk away while still looking at me.  They are continually running around screaming and hitting each other.  I'm kind of at my wits end in trying to figure out how to deal with all of this.  I take it very personally, and then I take it all out on Nick, and that's just not good.  So it's really been a struggle for me.

My mom has been pushing me to buy this book that my sister-in-law has, it's called The Power of Positive Parenting by Dr. Glen Latham.  I finally ordered it and I'm trying to get through it.  It's a little difficult than I thought because it's set up like a text book more than anything.  But I'm trying to keep an open mind about all of this.  I find it hard to imagine that being positive all the time gets the results I strive for, but I'll try anything at this point.  I'm just afraid that they're going to walk all over me, but you know, they do that anyway, so what's it going to hurt. 

I've come up with a daily schedule that I know they, and I, will benefit from.  I'm just really lazy and I'm procrastinating putting it into action.  I really need to do this for their sakes.  I'm sure that with a daily schedule, they won't be so bored and that's when things start to go downhill.  Pray for me.  I know that it's only with the Lord's help that I'll be able to get through this. 

All I ever wanted, from the time I can remember, was to be a mom, but recently I've really questioned that.  Nick had to remind me last week that it is my divine nature to be a mother.  I forget that a lot!  I was created to be here on this earth specifically to raise children, and I feel like I've fallen short on that calling.  I'm trying to remedy that, and I want to feel good about myself as a mother again.  Here's to continually trying, falling short, and picking myself up and trying again.  It's such a difficult cylce to live by, but that's life right?   

Humiliated

My mom invited us over for lunch today after church.  She also mentioned that some of our friends that are moving next week were coming over for lunch as well.  That sounded fun since the boys have gotten together with their boys for play dates these past few years. 

Of course my kids wouldn't eat anything.  My boys say they're not hungry and want to get down and play.  The adults were sitting at the table talking and I hear my kids "roaring" in the other boys' faces, and chasing them, and even hitting them!!!  I was so embarrassed.  Then our friends' boys came over to their mom and I heard them say, "those boys are crazy!" 

I was so humiliated.  This happens all the time.  My kids are so intense when they get around other kids.  They're always in the other kids' faces screaming, or yelling, or chasing them, or trying to throw toys at them, or hitting.  I don't know where they learned this behavior.  I've never allowed that.  I'm afraid that people won't want to do things with us because of the way my boys behave.

Not entirely sure how to tackle this one...

Catching Up Finally!

Wow, it's been a busy couple of months for us here in the Surdukowski household.  I haven't had tons of chances to update the blog, but I managed to find a few spare moments where I can finally do that!

First, I took off to Salt Lake City, Utah the end of September to attend the baptism of my niece, Taylor.  I flew out there with Wyatt in hand and my sister by my side!  We had a great time.  We stayed with some of the greatest people I've ever met, which made our time there so much more enjoyable!  I was able to see a friend of mine from when we were teenagers.  Hadn't seen her in 10 years, so it was fun to see her and her girls! 

While we were there, my mom, dad, sister, Wyatt, and I spent a day at our church's Temple Square.  We walked around the Salt Lake Temple, managed to see a few brides and grooms as their pictures were being taken.  We also walked around inside the Tabernacle, which is a rather large auditorium with this amazing organ.  While we were in there we got to catch a glimpse of Richard Elliott practicing the organ.  He's such an amazing organist, definitely fun to watch his feet work the pedals!  We stopped in to check out the Assembly Hall, which is another auditorium-type building.  We also took a tour of the Beehive House, which was used as Brigham Young's personal office and home.  It's fun to see how people lived in the mid-1800s.  Definitely worth the trip!

It's incredible to me that the buildings that encompass Temple Square were built in the 1800s.  They are magnificent!  The details on the Salt Lake Temple are extraordinary!  The architecture for the Tabernacle to have a non-supported roof to add exceptional acoustics at that time is mind-boggling!  It just goes to show you that when the Lord wants something built or done, He gives His people the right tools and know-how to get it done!  I love that!

After that we walked across the street to take a tour of the Conference Center.  That place is incredible!  The artwork that adorns the walls is amazing!  My favorite part was the Hall of the Prophets where all the busts of the modern day prophets are, from Joseph Smith down to Gordon B. Hinckley (Thomas S. Monson's hasn't been completed yet)!  Very cool!  We were able to go up on the roof and check out the gardens and meadows and forests they have up there.  Imagine this, on the top of this gigantic building that takes up an entire city block all by itself, there are over 4 acres of canyon-like foliage, desert-like foliage, and a waterfall & river to look at.  You'd never guess that you were ontop of a building.  It really felt like you were standing in a meadow!

We ate at some really great places while we were there.  We had lunch one day at the Nauvoo Cafe and had lunch another day with my uncle at the Lion House Pantry!  We ate dinner one night at the Roof Restaurant, which is located in the Joseph Smith Memorial Building (that's a cool building!).   We dined on some great food while we enjoyed the view of the lit up Salt Lake Temple from the top!  All I have to say is Lion House Rolls are AMAZING!!

We spent time with my brothers, Scott and Eric, and their families.  It was good to see them.  The baptism was great.  Taylor looked amazing in her white baptismal dress.  She was so excited! 

It was a nice getaway, but it was great to get home to see my own family.  I really wished that they could have come with me, but one day we'll make it out there as a family to do all the church history sites!

The day after I got back from Utah, Bennett broke his arm.  Spencer pushed Bennett off the trampoline.  Broke both of the bones in Bennett's forearm.  He's in a cast that goes past his elbow at least until the first of November.  He's managed to cope really well with it on, but he does get very frustrated at times because he can't do all that he wants to do. 

We've also been dealing with this on-again-off-again fevers with Bennett again.  He gets these fevers that spike over 103 degrees but then come down, sometimes go away, but always come back for 4-5 days at a time.  He gets no other symptoms but a fever.  This is the 5th or 6th time he's had them since March.  So this time I called the doctor and had them check him out.  They checked him for strep, but thankfully that was negative.  So they sent him over to have bloodwork done.  The doctor thinks he has what's called Cyclic Fevers.  They occur in young children every 3-6 weeks and last from 2-6 days at a time.  The doctor said that he'll grow out of them, so hopefully that happens soon.  The diagnosis was kind of a general one that doesn't really explain a whole lot, but for now that's all I have to go on...

It's been a busy month of lots to do, but it's been fun.  I really did have a great time in Utah, but there really is no place like home!

  

Seriously?!

When Nick and I first got married, I gave up my cell phone and cell phone number to him so that I could get in touch with him whenever I needed to while I was at my desk at work.  That never bothered me until today!

I'm not eligible for an upgrade on my phone for another year.  Nick wasn't supposed to receive an upgrade on his phone until May next year.  While I was looking at our bill online I noticed that Nick's line is available for an upgrade now, and if he waits until May, he'll get more of a discount because of HIS continued loyalty with verizon wireless.  THAT WAS ORIGINALLY MY LINE THAT HE HAS!!!!!  I have wanted to get an iPhone for over a year, ever since I saw my brother's phone last summer.  Nick could care less about upgrading his phone.  I want that upgrade so bad!  It just really frustrates me.     

Over-Dressed

I sent the boys to their room to take a nap after lunch.  It took a little while for them all to fall asleep, but just when I thought they were asleep I heard Spencer's door open.  I go investigate and standing in the doorway was Spencer.  I immediately started laughing.  He looked like he pulled out every single shirt and pair of pants that he had and put them on.  It was pretty funny.  I start peeling off the shirts he put on, which happened to be only two on top of the t-shirt he was originally wearing, so that's three shirts.  I then started to peel off his pants, which were pajama pants.  I took off four pairs of pants before I finally got down to his shorts that I put on him this morning.  It just had to laugh.  I thought about taking a picture only after I'd taken off the extra clothes.  I need to be quicker about that! 

Spencer will definitely be our son who is the most interested in clothes.  As soon as we get home from church he runs and gets a new shirt and shorts.  They never match, but it's something he has to do every time.  I love that kid!

Earthquakes & Hurricanes

So we experienced our first ever, earthquake.  Apparently there was a 5.9 earthquake that happened not too far from where my aunt and uncle live near Fredericksburg, VA.  We felt the effects of it here, and all up the eastern seaboard to Martha's Vineyard, MA.  CRAZY!!  I wasn't sure what was happening.  I thought I was having a dizzy spell again, but this was way different.  I realized what it could be when I saw the swing moving, and the fans were swinging back and forth.  That is such an odd sensation! 

Later that same week we prepared for Hurricane Irene!!  This is the first real hurricane I've experienced in my life.  In 2003 we got the effects of Tropical Storm Isabelle, that was once a hurricane, and that was some heavy weather.  This time was completely different.  By Wednesday we knew the hurricane would be coming our way sometime Saturday night.  So I took Tanner and we went to get a few emergency essentials that we didn't have.  Things like water jugs, a couple extra flashlights, batteries, a few munchies, and extra diapers.  It was a good thing we did that on Wednesday because by Thursday night, everything emergency related was gone from the stores and the lines to buy water and other food stuffs was at least an hour wait to check out.  Nick and I debated to get a generator or not, but weren't sure if we could find one since everyone was sold out.  Amazingly, Friday afternoon, we found a place that had a few left for a little bit more than what we wanted to pay, but I was glad we got one.  We managed to get some extra gasoline for the generator and the cars, staked all the bigger things in the yard down, and prepared for the worst.  Irene was supposed to graze us off the eastern shoreline of the state as a category 2, but thankfully it was downgraded to a category 1.  Lemme tell you, that was bad enough. 

The weather started taking a turn for the worse Saturday morning.  The rain started and then early in the afternoon the wind started.  We were supposed to have sustained winds of 80+ mph, but thankfully we only had 25+ mph winds with gust of about 55mph.  The most intense part of the storm came between 6:30pm and 9:00pm Saturday evening.  We had a few horrific thunderstorm barrel through here with tornados all around.  We spent some time in the closet singing songs, and at my request, saying a few prayers.  The eye of the storm came past us around 2 in the morning Sunday.  I finally got a few hours of sleep after that.  I made the boys bring their mattresses in the living room and sleep there for my sake.  I didn't want to be very far away from them in case something happened.

Thankfully we never lost power.  Nick was peeved that we bought a generator and didn't have to use it.  I think of it as we're that much ahead of the game for the next storm, be it rain, snow, ice, or whatever comes our way.  We had a lot of downed trees in the area, and a lot of flooding.  Thankfully our house sustained no damage.  We were very fortunate and blessed to make it through without any problems. 

For the most part we were very well prepared for the storm.  We had all of our affairs in order beforehand, so we just had to ride it out.  We know what we can do better for the next time, and we plan to do better about that before it gets too late.  Now we need to get prepared for whatever winter storms we may get this year.  Things like getting our fireplace looked at and cleaned.  Getting more wood for the fireplace.  More food storage built up in case we're snowed in.  More water stored.  Things like that and we'll be golden to ride out whatever comes our way this winter.  It really does ring true that the more you're prepared the less you need fear.  I completely get that now.